Grandparents

The Special Role of Grandparents

Grandparents play such an important and unique role in the lives of children.

As a young parent, I was fortunate to have my own parents deeply invested in our kids’ lives. They were present and supportive for every milestone, celebration, and quiet moment in between. I remember them once describing what it felt like to love their grandchildren, it sounded so similar to the love I felt as a parent.

At the time, I appreciated their words, but I couldn’t fully grasp the depth of what they meant. It wasn’t until I became a grandparent myself that I began to truly understand the magnitude of that love.

Embracing the Role of Grandparent

Now that I’m in this season of life called grandparenting, I’ve come to realize it truly deserves some thoughtful attention. Navigating grandparenting is a completely different experience than parenting, it’s a new role, with its own unique rhythm and purpose.

I recently came across a phrase that really stuck with me: grandparenting is about guiding, not leading. I find that to be such a sweet and wise description. It helps me keep my role in perspective. I no longer carry the daily responsibilities of parenting, but I still hold a powerful position in my grandchildren’s lives.

As a grandparent who has intentionally chosen to be present (we even moved across the country to be near them), I now have the opportunity to guide, encourage, and support them in meaningful ways. I can leave a legacy of love, not through control or correction, but by being consistently present, available, and emotionally invested.

Being an Intentional Grandparent

Grandparents play a powerful role in the lives of their grandchildren, not just as occasional visitors or babysitters, but as consistent, loving influences. Here are some intentional ways to build lasting connections with your grandkids and support the parents raising them:

• Be Involved in Their Lives. Look for chances to lighten the load for the parents. Young parents are often stretched thin, and they’ll likely welcome a break. Offering to help, whether for a date night, a kid-free grocery run, a weekend away, or just a quiet afternoon at home, gives parents much-needed rest and opens the door for you to build deeper bonds with your grandkids. It’s truly a win-win.
• Be Present. Attend their activities- sports, recitals, church events, plays, anything they are involved in. But being present isn’t just about showing up physically; it’s about engaging fully in the moment. Put down your phone, quiet your to-do list, and soak in the experience. Your presence says, “You matter to me,” and your grandkids will remember that.
• Create Shared Experiences. Discover activities you can enjoy together and build traditions around them. These shared interests don’t have to be elaborate. My parents created strong bonds with their grandkids by taking them on summer camping trips. My grandparents did the same, taking us on adventures in their motorhome. My husband and I are continuing this tradition, baking, walking, playing music, simple things that have become meaningful rituals. Kids will often match your energy and enthusiasm, so lean in with joy.
• Stay Connected. Whether you live near or far, there are countless ways to stay involved. Technology makes it easier than ever: FaceTime calls, recorded video messages, reading stories over video, or sending handwritten notes and care packages all help nurture the relationship. Before we moved closer, I’d record myself reading books and send them to the girls. Once, when one of them was sick, we mailed a little care package. Even from far away, they knew we were thinking of them, and that matters.
• Be Willing to Sacrifice and Be Intentional. I’ve always loved this quote from Jon Tyson’s book Beautiful Resistance: “People who willingly sacrifice their margin for the sake of others access a kind of supernatural power that you don’t get when you’re just living for yourself.” If you’re still working or have a full schedule, being involved with grandkids requires sacrifice. When we choose to pour into their lives and hearts, the return is immeasurable. On the days I feel too tired for a visit, I remind myself that I’m not carrying the day-to-day parenting load anymore. Time with my grandkids may leave me physically tired, but emotionally, I always walk away more filled up than when I arrived.
• Offer Unconditional Love and Support. Young children look for “secure bases,” those safe, trustworthy people they can always come back to. While parents are typically that foundation, grandparents who are actively involved can also become part of this inner circle. One day, while at the library with my granddaughter, she wandered off a bit to explore. But every few minutes, she’d run back to give me a hug. In that moment, I knew I was one of her safe places. That’s a sacred gift.
• Support Your Adult Children, Too. A grandparent’s role isn’t just about loving the grandkids, it’s also about coming alongside your own children as they parent. Respect their boundaries, affirm their decisions, and offer encouragement often. I remember, as a tired young mom, how much it meant to hear, “You’re doing a great job.” Our children need that from us. A few kind words can give them the strength they need to keep going.
• Legacy Through Love. Grandparenting is less about leading and more about guiding. We don’t carry the daily weight of discipline and decisions, but we do have the opportunity to shape our grandkids through our presence, consistency, and unconditional love. The legacy we leave is built in the ordinary moments we choose to be available, attentive, and supportive.

Grandparenting is a unique and precious opportunity, one that allows us to make a lasting impact not just on our grandchildren, but on the entire family. It’s not about doing things perfectly; it’s about being present, offering love without conditions, and showing up in meaningful ways. Whether through shared traditions, words of encouragement, or quiet moments of connection, we have the chance to leave a legacy that will outlive us. Let’s choose to be intentional, supportive, and deeply engaged, because the time we invest in our grandchildren today will echo for generations to come.